Appreciation post

Wuhuu

Yep it's me. Still not sleeping. Lol

Suddenly rasa nak tulis something. Lol

To sum up my life rn, ohyeah gonna finish my 3rd year in just few weeks. Man, it felt like i did nothing tbh. And btw today is the 25th Ramadhan 5 more days for Shawal yeayyy but i'm not that excited actually.
Every raya is just the same for me. 1st Shawal. All the relatives will be here, in the kampung, at my house since the house is inherited to my mother from my late granny. Hell yeah it was damn awkward meeting them. I tried to be as friendly as possible but nah they just don't really showing effort to actually start conversation or anything so i just smiled. And i will be like to shy or scare to walk around my own house. And every raya, my face will always got some breakouts or any flaw that disturb my raya mood.
But one thing for sure, this year Raya will not be the same anymore. Coz my Abah is not gonna be around.

*Tears dropping for 15 minutes

*Still dropping

To Abah, eventho you are not the greatest father in the world, always know that this daughter of yours loves you so much and always prays for your ease and in the hereafter, to be together with you in Jannah. Amin.
For those who still have both their parents, just cherish them while they are still alive. When their soul has been taken, and you can only see the body just lying there, frozen. U will think to yourself, "Oh God, is this really happening? Will i not see him again? Hear his voice? Or touching him?" And yeah, for a moment, i did wish for him to wake up and talk to me like nothing happened. But after 30 minutes of watching him lying without even a tick of movement, i realised that yep, this is real.
And tears start to flow.
The most heart breaking moment is when you need to bury the body. Would you have the gut to put your loved one into a 2 metre depth hole and then bury them? Knowing the fact it's gonna be your last time of seeing their face, and the next time it will be only pictures or dreams or memories that you had together. Damn it's hard.
I did not even had the chance to ask for his forgiveness. And i really want to take care of him when he grows old. I want to show him the person that i am gonna be someday is someone who he can be proud of.

Honestly for this Ramadhan, i did not use the opportunity to serve my creator as wise as possible. Oh yeah shame on me. But always in all my prayers, i hope Allah will guide me to the right path. ALWAYS.